dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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