There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
