I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Dignity is for republicans.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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