Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
organizing the empties. That sober.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
