saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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