You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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