Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize