I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
