Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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