mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
worst night to have a conscience
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
