the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
