I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
