Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
