i think my tv is drunk
You smell like stripper and shame
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
