i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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