so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
