i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
