I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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