So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Randomize
