K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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