you win again, gameday.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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