I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
