Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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