So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
