im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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