you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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