Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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