You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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