3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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