haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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