Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I haven't been this sober since birth.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
