Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
and she was petting her beer can
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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