I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize