how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
