You smell like a Billy Joel song
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
