Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
