I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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