i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
