I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
