the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
