dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
