Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize