a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
