In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
