I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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