I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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