shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
