Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Drunk is a universal language darling
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
