Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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