I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
