If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
