Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I checked into jail on foursquare
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
