the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
