ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
