I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
