Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
