Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
