if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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