Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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