so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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