it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i think i have herpe
just one?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize