she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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