Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
