I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
